My life was perfect but I was absolutely numb. I found out that I was experiencing anhedonia and it made me feel less alone.

• This is an excerpt adapted from Tanith Carey’s new book, “Feeling ‘Blah’? Why Anhedonia Has Left Youless Joy and How to Recapture Life’s Highs.”
• Tanith Carey is a former US correspondent and award-winning writer and author.

Looking back, it seems strange that a phone call with the best news of my career convinced me to change my life. After months of searching for a book I’ve always wanted to write, there was my agent on the line. Great news. A major publisher was offering a generous five-figure contract for a book I’ve always wanted to write.

As he broke the news, I heard the right noises made: “Amazing… brilliant… awesome.” But far from feeling joy, I felt nothing. It was if the words came from some disembodied me. When I ended the call, I knew I should be feeling elated. Instead, I felt numb.

After that day, I started to notice this disconnect more. I couldn’t figure it out. After all, I wasn’t depressed. I was a career woman who got things done, with a lovely husband and two happy, healthy daughters. I’ve always loved music. Now, when I listened to my favorite songs, the thrills are gone. My Instagram looked like a multicolored patchwork quilt of fabulousness. The reality was that life looked gray no matter what I did. Surely, I couldn’t be the only person who felt this way?

Finding the answer brought clarity

So, my guilt aside, I went looking for an explanation late one evening.

With my unsuspecting partner Anthony sleeping next to me, it felt like the utmost ingratitude to Google “Why am I not enjoying my life?” I wish there was a more exciting story about how I found the answer. In 0.63 seconds, the offer of 6,770,000,000 results appeared on my screen. The first headline was: “Don’t you like anything anymore? There’s a name for it. Anhedonia.”

Taken, I continued reading. Research paper after research paper has revealed that while anhedonia is well known to psychiatrists and brain researchers as a symptom of full-blown depression, you don’t have to be depressed to feel it. You can get on with life, with everything you need except the mental bandwidth to enjoy it.

This annoyed me. After all, she hears so much about the most pernicious disease of modern life, depression, on one side of the spectrum, and happiness on the other. Why don’t we hear more about the no man’s land in between? As an author, I write about what I need to learn.

Overwork, stress and modern life can lead to anhedonia

Over the next 18 months, I’ve discovered that there are a number of possible environmental and biological causes for “blah.” In addition to burnout, I’ve found that diet, difficult childhoods, hormonal changes, as well as illnesses, such as Covid and type 2 diabetes, can all play a role in bringing up the brain’s reward system, the mesolimbic, “off-line” pathway. But while little is said about blah, it’s not unusual.

In the first studies of languishing in the early 2000s, it was estimated that 12.1% of US adults were affected. Two decades later, using the same criteria, an IPSOS US Mental Health report found that 21% were in the same mental space. When analyzing age, it found that millennials (26 and older) were 30% more likely to languish. This is followed by Gen Z (up to 25 years old) at 26%, Gen X (over 42 years old) at 21% and, finally, the baby boomers (over 57 years old) at 14%.

But it’s not just overwork and stress that makes us feel emotionally flat. Anhedonia is a disease of modern life, particularly in first world countries. The constant dopamine shots of the society of convenience—anything from online shopping, movies, dating, food delivery, and porn—designed to give us anything we want, whenever we want, with so little effort, can dull our sensibilities. to pleasure. When everything is designed to feel good, nothing does.

Now that I knew there were reasons to “feel blah,” I talked to neuroscientists about the best tools for dealing with it. For example, when I discovered that dopamine is not the molecule of pleasure, but of anticipation, I started making sure I always had something in my journal to look forward to. After learning that ordinary pleasurable experiences are not just one thing, but three separate parts: anticipation, appreciation in the moment, and remembrance later, I paid attention to each stage so I could experience joy more intensely.

Small changes have led to a return to normality

After a few months of adjusting my life in many small ways, I gradually felt lighter. I smiled easier. Hearing myself laugh no longer made me fall out of my chair in shock. It’s true that modern life is tough. We are in a global economic recession. Life on earth has rarely seemed more unpredictable. The good news is that now I know there is a flip side.

We know more about how neuroscience creates good feelings in the brain than at any other time in history. I’d say it’s time to leverage that knowledge and push back.

Excerpt from FEELING ‘BLAH’?: Why Anhedonia Has Left Youless Joy and How to Recapture Life’s Highs by Tanith Carey (Welbeck Balance, 2023). Reprinted with permission from Welbeck Balance.